I had my laparoscopic surgery at the end of October 2017. After a long recovery and several weeks of sore stitches, slow movements and questionable Netflix choices, I am finally better. Dare I say, extremely better, like I haven’t been in years. I have hope. But it’s early days, and I can’t quiet the nagging thoughts at the back of my mind. There is a little voice inside of me asking, “How long before my endometriosis returns?”

With endometriosis, feeling good now doesn’t mean being cured. It is a chronic disease with no cure and a recurrent ability to show up when you least expect it. Additionally, excision surgery — the procedure I underwent — may lead to complications due to scarring and the formation of post-operatory cysts.

On the plus side, my energy levels have increased. The draining pains I felt during exercise have practically disappeared. My extreme mood swings and bouts of depression during PMS have lightened. I’m still prone to feeling down, but it’s a massive shift from when I believed I was losing my mind. Additionally, pain overall has drastically decreased. My last two periods featured one bad flare-up, but I wasn’t bed-bound by it.

All in all, I am stronger, healthier, better. I have hope. Yet, endometriosis still permeates my every decision, from working out holiday dates to canceling plans that fall during my period. I also think about my professional career. Is it something I can resurrect? Or will I be back to square one in some months?

My surgeon hasn’t discharged me yet, telling me instead to contact him the moment any symptoms reappear. In the meantime, I hope. I have to live my life as a normal person, acknowledging that no such thing as normal actually exists. We are all limited by circumstances, our health or our life choices. There is no perfect idea of normal.

Also, there is no use living in fear of something that may never happen.

Everything is temporary. I may have months of good health, maybe even years. I am learning to be a “now” person. As recovering patients, our dreads will probably ease up as time passes. We just have to channel our worries into a strong fighting spirit when/if endometriosis comes back.

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Note: Endometriosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Endometriosis News or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to endometriosis.